What then? Which is your question, isn’t it?

Once we actually get into the world, we discover two things: what the real world is like, and what we are like. Until we face testing and challenge, we don’t know the shape of our real character, either. Everything is untested and truly unknown. Almost always, only mere fragments of the original map will prove to be accurate.
We have to take the information we have learned, and make a new map, putting in the contours of our both our learned territories and our learned abilities.
However, the other element that we now know - and must also include - is that the map is ever-changing. Society moves, and so do we. Therefore, we have to make a commitment to keep our awareness open, our flexibility strong, and our eyes on what moves and changes, rather on what is fixed. This is the way we will not only survive but thrive.
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Those things are:

Trust. If you can’t trust them with your life, don’t trust them with your life. Don’t have secrets. While you don’t have to tell each other everything about your past, big secrets are like cancer that can destroy the relationship and are likely to come out eventually anyway. Friendship. You spouse will probably be your best friend for the rest of your life. Do you communicate easily and clearly? Can you face confrontation and disagreement without setting off WWIII? Marriage is a partnership. Will they make a good life partner? Are they ok the way they are? Don’t expect them to change to fill your expectations. Similar likes and dislikes. I don’t mean petty stuff like your favorite color. I mean do you both like to sleep with the windows open or closed? Do you both like white meat or dark meat (here you want to be different. Of course, this is not a deal-breaker but it is nice if you can eat a whole chicken together. https://drsuperheo.blogspot.com/2019/08/1st-love-is-difficult-to...
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I think the best way to consider if nice is a denial of our animal instincts is a hypothetical scenario.

Tomorrow, Armageddon arrives, without even waiting for an invitation. An apocalyptic event occurs. Societal structure is destroyed, food cannot be produced or distributed, even safe drinking water is scarce and law and order are non-existent. How long do we think nice will last? A day before people are stealing their elderly neighbor's food? A couple of weeks before they're eating the neighbor? https://www.moteefe.com/store/grinch-shut-your-mouth-when-youre-talking-to-me-shirt?cp=FRSHIPHZRHOJ https://www.moteefe.com/store/easily-distracted-by-cats-and-fabrics-shirts?cp=FRSHIPAPWNTN https://www.moteefe.com/store/christmas-santa-is-coming-thone-shirt?cp=FRSHIPRYIEQW https://www.moteefe.com/store/chihuahua-is-this-jolly-enough-christmas-shirt?cp=FRSHIPAHMLFJ https://www.moteefe.com/store/baby-groot-batman-lights-christmas-shirt?cp=FRSHIPIPQLRA https://www.moteefe.com/store/rooster-im-into-fitness-fitness-taco-in-my-mouth-shirt?cp=FRSHIPTSQAOG https://www.moteefe.com/stor...
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two years older then you.

And please learn from the mistakes of others. You can find all kinds of horror stories of young teens getting taken advantage of, and how they fell into those traps. Arm yourself. https://www.moteefe.com/store/you-cant-scare-me-i-drive-a-school-bus-halloween-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/mycologist-hiking-club-we-might-not-get-there-sloth-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/kings-circus-presents-pennywise-the-dancing-clown-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/just-a-girl-who-loves-it-pennywise-shirts https://www.moteefe.com/store/jason-voorhees-and-krueger-best-friends-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/in-a-world-you-can-be-anything-be-kind-halloween-snoopy-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/goldens-make-me-happy-you-not-so-much-grinch-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/friends-deadpool-and-pennywise-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/flamingos-hockey-friends-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/cat-horror-halloween-shirt https://www.moteefe.com/store/im-her-joker-...
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