Those things are:
Trust. If you can’t trust them with your life, don’t trust them with your life. Don’t have secrets. While you don’t have to tell each other everything about your past, big secrets are like cancer that can destroy the relationship and are likely to come out eventually anyway.
Friendship. You spouse will probably be your best friend for the rest of your life. Do you communicate easily and clearly? Can you face confrontation and disagreement without setting off WWIII? Marriage is a partnership. Will they make a good life partner? Are they ok the way they are? Don’t expect them to change to fill your expectations.
Similar likes and dislikes. I don’t mean petty stuff like your favorite color. I mean do you both like to sleep with the windows open or closed? Do you both like white meat or dark meat (here you want to be different. Of course, this is not a deal-breaker but it is nice if you can eat a whole chicken together.
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